The Tooth Fairy: A Tragic Comedy

Brownyn came home from school in tears yesterday.
Bronwyn comes home in tears every Wednesday.
Wednesday is swimming lessons day.

To compound the dramatic tragedy that is a half-hour swimming lesson, Bronwyn also had an extremely wiggly tooth. Her great fear, and partial reason for the tears, was that the tooth would fall out in the pool, be lost forever, and she would forfeit her opportunity for a visit from the Tooth Fairy.

Logical, sure. But not reason enough to skip the lesson. Especially since she swims with her mouth closed, and if she would just leave the tooth alone instead of constantly wiggling it with her tongue, there would be no risk of losing the damn thing. So off to lessons we go. Crying all the way.

The crying continued through Finn’s 30 minute lesson, Bronwyn hiccuping through her list of reasons to stay out of the water. Parents were trying not to be obvious as they stared at us in fascinated horror. What kind of mother would force their precious little girl to do something so obviously against her will? Well… obviously this one.

Bronwyn’s turn was up and I had to pry her little arms from around my neck. After six (yes six) hugs goodbye (I wasn’t going far – I sat at the edge of the pool and she could literally reach out and touch me), she reluctantly walked off with her teacher, still crying in deep jags and hiccups. It got so bad, I had to pull her from the class for fear she would drown.

Dried, calmed and home at the supper table, the tooth finally fell out. It fell onto the floor and skipped right into the heating grate. Cue the tears – again! This is where I poured my second drink of the night. I think I showed extreme restraint!

Luckily a note explaining the situation did the trick: Bronwyn woke up five dollars richer this morning and is already plotting her next shopping expedition.

I’m looking forward to next Wednesday’s excuse to stay home from swimming – this one will be tough to beat.

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